There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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