he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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