just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Did I show you my penis last night?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize