Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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