we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
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I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
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sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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