so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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