How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize