So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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