can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize