We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize