Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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