Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
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I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
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Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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