RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize