yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
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Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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