Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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