Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You're a waste of cheezeits
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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