i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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