im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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