just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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