Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
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do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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