dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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