Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
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just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize