You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
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I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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