I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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