sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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