he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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