If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
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the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
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so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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