Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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