I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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