someone threw a dead crab at me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize