fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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