nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize