ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
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The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
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Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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