i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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