Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize