Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
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he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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