I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize