who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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