i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The Olympian is in my bed
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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