I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize