Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize