Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I FOUND THE LEGS
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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