Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
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she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
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I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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