Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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