Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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