we're chasing vodka with high fives
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
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It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
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Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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