I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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