her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize