Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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