So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize