i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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