She said her name was "party"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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